World F*&^in Keeper!

Brian's Fellows (Note: NOT managed by Dr. Brian Kelly but on a surrogate basis by Head Football Coach Brian Kelly) have released the following:

There is a fantasy baseball coach and then there's the fantasy baseball coach of Brian's Fellows, because nobody, nobody does it like Brian's Fellows ...

Yes, we've got challenges, just like anybody else. But we'll go to work on it right away, and we'll do that by continuing to recruit what I call the RKGs, the right kind of guys, which starts with the WFK, or World F*&^in' Keeper, Chase Utley ...

I want tough gentlemen. I want fantasy baseball players that are mentally and physically tough that will play for nine innings, and I want gentlemen off the field that we all can be proud of. And we will do that here at Brian's Fellows ...


They [the players, namely Chase Utley] want to win. They want to win. They're like any other fantasy baseball program that I've been around; they want to win fantasy baseball games, and they want to be led. They want to be developed. You do not come to Brian's Fellows because you want to be average. You want to be the best of the best. And that's why I'm here.

I want to thank my family again. And it is no longer a dream, it's reality, and we're ready to move our fantasy baseball program forward. Thank you very much.

Full text available here.
ALSO: In a related story, the Kansas City Charlie's Horses have announced that their keeper, Brad Lidge, is on pace to have another "smart, hard-working, nasty" season.